This week on The Leak Didi explores the politics around gender and menstruation.

Note from Didi: I live and work in Colombia, South America, and I am aware that the conversation around inclusion—and the language we use to express it—can differ across cultures. Still, I hope this short article resonates with readers beyond its immediate context. Inclusion is an issue that extends far beyond menstruation, and like me, you may also feel there is always room to learn and improve.

In recent years, we sometimes hear or read the term “people who menstruate” or “menstruators” when discussing menstrual education, dignified menstruation, or other cycle-related topics.

The reason is that there are women who don’t menstruate (due to surgery, illness, or menopause, for example) and there are people who menstruate but don’t identify as women (trans men, queer or non-binary people), and there’s a desire to include their experiences in the discussion as well.

However, there’s often a backlash, usually in the form of offensive comments under a post or video on social media. They say that only women menstruate – period (no pun intended 😉  – they say that women are being erased. They say there’s no place for the LGBTQ community in this discussion, and they say much more in a degrading way.

As a result, the conversation becomes very polarised, even toxic, and thus inclusion expressed through language is considered controversial.

It doesn’t have to be this way!!

First: The intention of true inclusion is never to erase women and their experiences. The intention is to include marginalised communities. You could say “women and other menstruators” then, although you’ll still be criticised for including other people who are not or do not identify as women.

Second: I wonder, what are they really talking about? As women, we know what it’s like to have our experiences ignored: the insecurity on the street (“it can’t be that bad”), not being believed when a girl is raped (she must have wanted it, asked for it, or it was her fault for dressing a certain way—the list goes on!), not being taken seriously for being sensitive (and therefore irrational), our cyclical nature (“you’re unpredictable!”), not receiving recognition for work done (unpaid), medical misogyny (a serious lag in research, diagnosis and treatment for menstrual conditions, as well as gaslighting those who seek help). Do you need more examples? This is going to be a long discussion…

So, back to the point: If we know it’s painful to be ignored or not included, why exclude others who have different experiences than ours? It doesn’t make sense … (well, unless you’re completely egocentric).

Including another person doesn’t make you lose anything. It doesn’t take anything away from you. So why the resistance?

It’s usually out of fear, and specifically fear of the unknown.

That being the case, think about it: How many things do you have in common with this “person who menstruates”?

You both have dreams, desires, ambitions, likes and dislikes, fears, insecurities, preferences, experiences of joy and sadness, and much more.

The only difference is gender, or that they don’t identify with the gender assigned to them at birth or with the gender you have.

You have more in common than differences!!!

So?

Furthermore … If we understand chromosomes in relation to gender, from a purely biological point of view, we know that it’s not as black and white as we’ve been led to believe. In short, the simple binary XX/XY model of sex determination is an oversimplification. The interaction between sex chromosomes and autosomal genes creates a spectrum of biological sex characteristics.

Let’s say you don’t believe me, that this biology stuff seems complicated to you… Let’s say that’s the case. I’ll ask you again: What makes you uncomfortable about including people with a different experience than your own? If you could understand this, you could take a quantum leap in your spiritual progress.

Spiritual progress? Yes, spiritual progress. It has nothing to do with religion or the practice of prayer or even your beliefs.

What is spiritual progress? It’s the growth of the periphery of your love. That is, seeing yourself including more of this creation in your circle of love. You don’t need to live with everyone, nor go on vacation with everyone, but love them as they are. Don’t harm them, wish them the best, and let them be themselves.

Sounds easy? Very well: do it then, and we can close this discussion and move on.